Teaching Kids to Read K.I.S.S.

There are so many great websites/blogs/courses etc out there that have worksheets, weekly themes, colouring sheets and programs that will teach your child to read. I'm going to let you in on a secret. Teaching most children to read is easy. It doesn't require large amounts of time and money to buy programs or cute finger puppets or put together worksheets that are personalized with your child's picture or a set school time or place. Some of these things make me tired just looking at them. Since, I am currently teaching my 5th child to read, and each of my other 4 could read quite well before beginning Kindergarten (Prep), I feel I know some of what I say. I use lots of different ways to teach them. Here is what I do:

1. Make up a song or use the tune to a familiar song to teach them to spell their name. Sing it in the car or any other time you feel like. (I rarely have the radio on while my little kids are in the car.) I used B-I-N-G-O for Ethan and Ammon and made up my own song for Kyle, Aaron and Wyatt. Ashlee was to Twinkle, Twinkle. I start doing this when they are around 18 months.
2. Make a poster with all the letters of the alphabet. Make sure you write the letters like they teach them in your local school. Do upper and lower case and sing the alphabet often, pointing to the letters as you sing. Point their finger at the letters as you sing as well. You could also print out letter colouring pages as well and have them colour them. There are myriad of these online. Just look up alphabet coring pages online.
3. Sing the alphabet with the sounds of the letters. I have a tune I sing that just repeats itself A makes the sound of "A" (long a) or "a" (short a). B makes the sound "b-b-b". Continuing to the end of the alphabet. Sing this a lot.
4. You can also make up a song or a rhythm for individual letters. Continue saying/singing it over and over. (i.e. Double U, Double U, w-w-w or M-n-Ms are mmmmm)
5. Read books to them. As you read, have them find letters on the page. I always start with "O" because it's the easiest for them to recognize, because it's a circle.
6. As you read, choose a "magic" word or two that they can say every time you get to it in the book like "and" or "the" or any other word that is often repeated. As you read, point to each word as you say it and when you get to the magic word, have them say it.
7. Another good one for in the car is rhyming words or spelling simple words like, "Let's spell pot. What's the first sound? p-p-p", etc.
8. Pick a good beginner reader or series . We use BOB Books. Have them spell the words, then help them sound them out, asking, "What does a j say", etc. You'll probably have to give it to them several times, then help them put all the sounds together. Sometimes, you can only do one page at one sitting, but be consistent about it and they will get it.

Once they can read one book, they become motivated to read the next. It's magic to hear your child read for the first time. It's all about being consistent and using the time you do have together well. We're in the car a lot and that's when I work with them the most. Don't get discouraged. Children who are good readers are confident in other school work and in life. Once you can read, you can learn anything you want!

Newton and Parenting

I have been meaning to post for a while now, but schedules get so hectic sometimes, it's difficult to sit still long enough to post anything worth reading. I am in a quiet house now as everyone is away and the 2 little ones are sleeping. This is an unusual occurrence, so I'll take advantage of it.

Newton's First Law of motion states "Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it." That means that if an object is at rest, it won't move unless an external force is used. Sort of like when I need to wake up Ethan for Seminary at 5:45. The external force must change frequently to move those molecules and sometimes creative use of force is needed. I find it interesting that it's not necessarily the physical force that moves the object at rest, but the quiet urging and gentle persuasions that work best. The other part of the law indicates that force is also needed to change a direction or speed of an object. I see this nearly every day with Ammon on the computer. If I ask him to stop what he's doing, he'll always need to finish the game he's on before obeying. But, more seriously, if a child is making poor choices, some force (again, gentle persuasion) will have to be applied before a change can be made.

Now, how can I apply this law to raising my children? Most laws, when understood, help us to live a more meaningful and productive life. Once I truly understood inertia, I could be more patient with my children, understanding that as children they have a difficult time producing the force necessary to change their own action. It also helped me to realize that they truly need my help in changing behavior. The type of force used is not intended to be harsh. If you wanted to move a glass of water without spilling it, you wouldn't shove it, you would push it gently. Because the water wants to stay at rest, if it is pushed quickly, it is likely to spill and make a mess. If you push a child to harshly, you will most likely make a mess.

Any behavior, good or bad is subject to the laws of motion. Generally, a redirection with gentle force is all that is needed to change a negative behavior. For example, my two youngest have had a problem lately with hitting each other. I've let it go too far without taking action and now their inertia is continuing this behavior. I really have to do something about it. Of course, consistency is always key as a parent. Taking into consideration Newton's first law of motion, I need to apply force and stop the behavior immediately when it happens, and then redirect their motion in the right direction. I can do this by reminding them how much they love each other, demonstrating how to share and how to give hugs and touch each other gently.

I love how nature's laws align with the laws of God and the laws of the family. Stay tuned. I'll be posting an article soon about Newton's second and third laws of motion.

Real Life

My good friend, Moko found my blog by doing a search on the Internet about a year or so ago for Jumping Monkeys (go figure!) Anyway, she suggested I blog about the pen marks I recently found on our front room couches. These things become so commonplace at my home, I forget that they can be a source of inspiration for my Blog.

So, Wyatt has been a bit of a terror lately (can we say Terrific Twos?). The following pictures will pretty much sum it up. Love this kid!

My mom has a similar picture of my youngest brother and sister's work .

This is after we had cleaned up most of it. There were marks in every panel down the hallway as well.
I love Magic Erasers!

This is also after I had cleaned up the pen marks on the rest of the couch. I started out using hairspray (which works), but ended up using Exit. I got a free sample from the Rugby club. It works wonders! (I think it's the same stuff as Fels-Naptha)

My good friend, Lauren happened to call me while I was attacking the Sharpie walls. I was not quite composed yet. She was giddy with excitement wondering what an experienced mother would do in such a situation. I am ashamed to say that I had to tell her that I spanked his little bottom! Shocking! Why am I admitting this to all you people? In retrospect, no, this was not the right thing to do, and no, it didn't accomplish anything (although he hasn't since attempted writing on anything besides paper.) I will have to add that I was not at all out of control as I spanked him, I felt I was getting his attention and this would certainly have been devastating to some of my other children who wouldn't need more than a warning. After the initial crying, I sat down with him and hugged him and gave him a piece of paper with a crayon and told him. "You can color on paper, not on the walls or the floor or the couches." I guess I'm still learning, even after 6 kids.

A Child Who Sings is a Happy Child
So, in other news. One of the best talks, in my opinion, during the LDS April 2013 General Conference was the talk given by Elder Falabella on Sunday Afternoon, The Home: The School of Life. In one section, he said one of his wife's mottos was "A child who sings is a happy child". (This may be one of the next mottos to find it's way onto my wall) We have a very musical family. Whistling is huge around here and Ammon is constantly singing. I used to get a little, not annoyed, but a little exhausted with all the singing and whistling. Now, I will never complain again. Every time I hear Ammon singing, I think. Oh... he's happy! Thanks for that!

Getting 7-year-olds to do chores: 
Here's an idea... Ammon loves to play games. If it is not a game, it is drudgery. For this purpose, I have re-instituted a game I invented to get my younger brothers and sisters to clean up. Monster! I pretend to be asleep while they do some task for me, (practice the piano, do a chore, clean their room, leave me alone so I can write a blog...) Then, I wake up snarling and chase them all around the house until I "catch" them and pretend to eat them. They love this game and they get the work done. It didn't work for Ethan, Ashlee or Kyle, but Ammon, Aaron and Wyatt love it! Isn't it great with more kids, I can really try out everything until it works! And, I get to play Monster again (I love being this kind of Monster Mommy!)

Super Mum

I've been thinking lately about what it means to be a "Super Mum". You see, perfectionism is a tricky balance. There is no way we can be perfect at everything, but everyone is good at something. Figure out what your one or two things are and maximize them, and you too can be a Super Mum.

I think my first meeting conversations are hilarious. They follow a similar pattern. "6 kids?!! You're amazing!" "Barb, did you hear she has 6 kids?!" "You must be a super mum!" As if having the ability to procreate makes me a super mum.

My mum told me once that she would have similar conversations with people about her 12 children. She similarly would get annoyed by people assuming she must be amazing because she had so many children. She told me that she felt she hadn't necessarily chosen to have so many children, but as they came, she chose to do a good job raising them. I feel the same. I'm doing the best job I can raising my children and no, I don't always get it right and I'm not perfect at everything. I'll give you an example.

This is a bit embarrassing so bear with me. Last week, Monkey #6 got the croup. I've had the croup in my house. I have 5 boys. They all get croup when they get sick. Monkey #6 gets it pretty bad, so I'm used to it. Sometimes I'll take him outside. Sometimes I'll take him into the shower, or put a humidifier on him. That night, I was too tired to think straight, so I just put him in bed with me and Robert went off to sleep on the couch. In the morning, he was still crying and uncomfortable. He just wanted me to cuddle him. Robert suggested I take him into the doctor. Now, I am the least perceptive person when it comes to the health and safety of my children. I'm lucky to have a husband that makes up for my lack. So, I took him into the doctor who gave me medicine and told me to put him in the shower. He said if Monkey wasn't improving in a couple of hours to take him immediately to the Emergency Room.

It sounded pretty serious, and I did just what he said. It didn't take me long to realize things were not improving, so I took him to the emergency room where the doctors informed me he was at critically low oxygen absorption levels. He remained in the hospital for 2 days. I was glad that he had help when he needed it, but it worried me that I couldn't even take care of my own children and I still don't know how sick is sick enough for the hospital.

The point of this story is that; ok, I'll admit it. I am not a "Super Mum Doctor". Some women are so good at knowing what to do for their children to keep them safe and healthy. This is really important and I really am trying to do better. I am really good at teaching my children to be resilient and to take risks. There is benefit from both ways of parenting.

You can be a Super Mum at whatever you are good at. Teach your children to bake bread or pick stocks or do crafts or put together a fabulous outfit, or find deals at the op shop or clean a toilet really well. We are all Super Mums, but it is a choice. Being Super means sacrificing for another person. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you are doing something to make someone else's life better. You are super!

New Paradigms

My children will start a new school year tomorrow. The beginning of the year coinciding with the beginning of a school year gives me an opportunity to think about new beginnings. I always loved the first day of school. I can remember most of them vividly; the anticipation and anxiety, laying out the new clothes, getting the bag packed and thinking about the new friends I would be meeting. I still get a little excited for my kid's first day of school and wonder what they will do this year.

I also like the first day of school because it marks an opportunity to implement "again" some of the great programs, practices and schedules that I have tried before. There is no shame in starting a goal that eventually fizzles. You can always revisit it later and try again. There are a few goals that I generally go back to; living a more healthy life, writing more in my journal (or on a blog), being more consistent in parenting, educating myself. For some reason it still gets me excited to make these goals, even if they do fizzle after a little while or the implementation is a little unrealistic.

Everyone should have an opportunity to feel successful, so when I'm re-establishing my new goals, I start over. All the mistakes I've made in the past don't matter anymore. I am a new person and will start from this point and will be successful in whatever I decide to do. I try to manage my expectations so if I don't quite get everything done that I'd like to do, I can be happy with what I do accomplish. Just because you make a goal and don't quite reach what you're trying to attain doesn't make you a failure. It gets you that much closer to your goal, then you can start over again another time.

So, here's my new paradigm. I was reading an article that my niece, Rachel posted on facebook about a mother's conversation with her 3-year-old daughter who noticed her mother's fat thighs compared to her skinny legs. The mother, at first a bit hurt, tells her daughter that when she was young she had long skinny legs like her daughter and how she felt so pretty and when she got bigger she got beautiful big curves. She told her daughter that someday she would have big, beautiful curves and how wonderful it was that our bodies change over time. What a wonderful message to share with a young girl about how beautiful bodies can be in all their shapes, sizes and ages.

Another paradigm shift is about joy. I've always known that happiness is a choice. So, I always felt guilty when I wasn't happy because I knew it was my own fault. The new me recognizes that there has to be some sadness to experience joy, otherwise you wouldn't know the difference. I've done a few things to help me through the down times though. The best one by far is my "Happy Thoughts" list. Some people call it a Gratitude Journal. Basically, I just keep a list of good things that happen in my life. They are generally one-liners. I don't even date them anymore and I repeat things often like "Seeing my children sleeping peacefully". It's amazing how just looking over these things helps me to focus on the positive in my life.

This year I hope to keep things really positive in our home. I want a home where the Spirit can be felt and where our children want to be and are happy. There is definitely a balance that we are constantly trying to find to keep our home a happy place and according to my new paradigm on joy, we won't always be happy, but if we can maintain the discipline with love, I think we'll find the balance. For the most part, I will be able to have a place where my kids will want to be. I have confidence that I will be successful in all the goals I'm setting for myself this year not because I'll achieve all of them, but because I'm trying to be better. Sometimes just having the desire to change can work miracles.