I also like the first day of school because it marks an opportunity to implement "again" some of the great programs, practices and schedules that I have tried before. There is no shame in starting a goal that eventually fizzles. You can always revisit it later and try again. There are a few goals that I generally go back to; living a more healthy life, writing more in my journal (or on a blog), being more consistent in parenting, educating myself. For some reason it still gets me excited to make these goals, even if they do fizzle after a little while or the implementation is a little unrealistic.
Everyone should have an opportunity to feel successful, so when I'm re-establishing my new goals, I start over. All the mistakes I've made in the past don't matter anymore. I am a new person and will start from this point and will be successful in whatever I decide to do. I try to manage my expectations so if I don't quite get everything done that I'd like to do, I can be happy with what I do accomplish. Just because you make a goal and don't quite reach what you're trying to attain doesn't make you a failure. It gets you that much closer to your goal, then you can start over again another time.
So, here's my new paradigm. I was reading an article that my niece, Rachel posted on facebook about a mother's conversation with her 3-year-old daughter who noticed her mother's fat thighs compared to her skinny legs. The mother, at first a bit hurt, tells her daughter that when she was young she had long skinny legs like her daughter and how she felt so pretty and when she got bigger she got beautiful big curves. She told her daughter that someday she would have big, beautiful curves and how wonderful it was that our bodies change over time. What a wonderful message to share with a young girl about how beautiful bodies can be in all their shapes, sizes and ages.
Another paradigm shift is about joy. I've always known that happiness is a choice. So, I always felt guilty when I wasn't happy because I knew it was my own fault. The new me recognizes that there has to be some sadness to experience joy, otherwise you wouldn't know the difference. I've done a few things to help me through the down times though. The best one by far is my "Happy Thoughts" list. Some people call it a Gratitude Journal. Basically, I just keep a list of good things that happen in my life. They are generally one-liners. I don't even date them anymore and I repeat things often like "Seeing my children sleeping peacefully". It's amazing how just looking over these things helps me to focus on the positive in my life.
This year I hope to keep things really positive in our home. I want a home where the Spirit can be felt and where our children want to be and are happy. There is definitely a balance that we are constantly trying to find to keep our home a happy place and according to my new paradigm on joy, we won't always be happy, but if we can maintain the discipline with love, I think we'll find the balance. For the most part, I will be able to have a place where my kids will want to be. I have confidence that I will be successful in all the goals I'm setting for myself this year not because I'll achieve all of them, but because I'm trying to be better. Sometimes just having the desire to change can work miracles.
