Parenting Tip of the Day #2 - Leading Gently

Trying to help 3 and 4-year-olds say their prayers at night is sometimes an arduous task. They are generally tired and just a little grumpy to get out of their beds to say prayers. I have tried forcing them to their knees, but this didn’t seem really Christ-like, so I decided that if they didn’t want to say their prayers, I would allow them to lie in bed and I would say a prayer for them. This is actually a really nice opportunity to pray for them. I can say things that I know they’re trying to work on like potty-training or giving up thumb-sucking or learning to read, or to be kind to each other or a plethora of other skills. 

The other day, Wyatt (3-year-old) was home with me and I was listening to some General Conference talks on mormonchannel.org. Wyatt would hear a word he recognized like church or baptized or service and would get really excited and repeat the word. Then, he disappeared. He ran out of his room after a minute and was really excited. He said. “Mum, come see! I can do my prayers just like you.” He made me come into his room and kneel down next to his bed and fold my arms like him. He then looked up at me and said “See Mum! I can do my prayers like you.” 

I’m still learning that parents can shove children harshly and get them to do what the parent decides, but if a parent wants a child to truly change direction on their own, they must be led gently.

Parenting Tip of the Day #1- How to Play with Your Child

Ok! Let's face it, playing with your child is not always fun. It's sometimes quite boring playing race cars and dolls and house and don't get me started on having tea parties. We do it because we are good mommies and know that to connect with our child, we need to do things with them. I'll tell you how I do it.

When my kids start begging me to play with them, if I'm not in the middle of a kitchen catastrophe (which happens frequently), I block out a short amount of time, say 20-30 minutes. I look at my watch and mark the time. Then, I choose something that I like to do with my child. I like building lego trains, block cities and setting up People toys. Building exercises my spacial creativity. I love being able to use up all the train tracks in an elaborate design. Some people enjoy giving inanimate objects personalities and coming up with completely uninteresting conversations for those objects to have with each other. I also enjoy playing card or board games with my kids, but again, only for 20-30 minutes. I can't continue longer than that without going a little crazy. Whatever the activity ensure it's something that inspires you or builds your creativity!

While I am playing, I focus intensely on enjoying the process. I remember that this is only 20 minutes out of my life that is spent building a relationship that will be one of the most important of my existence. And, if I'm going to do it, I ought to enjoy it. I feel the same way about doing the dishes. More about that in a future post.

After the time is up, I can generally feel good that I've had some quality time with my kids and go do something I need to do. If the kids pester me, I remind them that I gave them 20-30 minutes and now they need to give me some time to do the things I need to.

It is not necessary nor recommended that a mother play with her children all day. It's important for children to come up with their own games, get into trouble on their own, fix their own problems and figure out what to do when they are bored.

Feel good! You are a super Mum because you love your kids.

This is the awesome train track I made. I used up all the track we own. Woohoo!